Have Justin and Martin become crotchety in their old age? You'll probably say yes after listening to this episode where neither can keep their cool in social media interactions. Both feed the trolls in spite of knowing better and end up more upset than any reasonable person should become. They also talk about how the upcoming Royal Rumble will undoubtedly be the best until the next one rolls around and talk a little Christian anthropology. All that and a bonus episode to follow since they kept talking long into the night. Here's the first half, with Two Bearded Preachers episode 66B to follow in just a little bit.
Facial profiling is not a victimless crime. Justin and Martin share about the times they were facially profiled in their second outing in the podcasting world. Listen as strange echoes, mysterious buzzing, and voice fade out plagues the bearded brothers. This episode is obviously one of their first as it sounds even worse than normal. Do you remember when they called the show "Partially Informed"? You will after listening to this throwback show! #endfacialprofiling
What is the best way to annoy your wife and all the people at the Starbucks? Use a Fidget Cube. Justin shares his experience with the world's most useless start-up and his concerns about the fire that recently took place at the Sausage Castle (surprisingly, it's not a breakfast place). Martin tries to figure out how evangelism, discipleship, and knowledge are related and shares how optimistic he is about the new year. Both of the fellers remember the rules at FCC and sort of understand them, but not really. What a fantastic conversation!
Is Troll Hunter viable entertainment? What about Troll Hunters? Justin and Martin discuss this in the first episode of 2017. Over the course of the conversation, you'll find out why Justin has a new found respect for government, how Martin is going to score a new diploma, and the reason neither plan on moving to Canada any time soon. At the same time, the wonders of Netflix are navigated for you as the bearded brothers share their very favorite recommendations and hear a few pet peeves about television along the way. You'll also find out why Gen X people have trouble getting along with Millennials, the joys of Steaksgiving, and an update on Justin's curse. This episode certain covers a lot of ground, but not very well. Enjoy!
P.S. Why doesn't Justin know what Juggalos are?
It isn't a party until Sweet Caroline is sung. You know that's the truth. Well, Justin and Martin start this party off with a little Neil Diamond and then wander into the holiday majesty of Sea World before ending up talking about the true meaning of Christmas. That's right folks, it's a Christmas episode you don't want to miss. Are otters the primadonnas of the pinnipeds? Does Santa's beard power the sleigh? Will all the Christmas programs be finished in time? All this and more will be answered in this very special Christmas episode of Two Bearded Preachers.
Does the Two Bearded Preachers podcast break the rules for acceptable behavior for pastoral people? Probably not. In this week's episode, Justin and Martin discuss the many benefits they receive from the podcast. There's a little bit of history told and the original plan of the show described, but it wasn't a good idea so the Bearded Brothers just started recording their regular conversations and the show got a lot better. Later in the episode, they talk about how they give advice to their congregations and the burden of eggnog.
Can a podcast be overly produced? The Two Bearded Preachers certainly don't think so, but it might be possible to overly produce a worship service. In this episode, Martin and Justin talk about sincerity in worship as they consider the implications of using decidedly secular music in the formal worship of the church. They also recount stories from their time in youth ministry and recognize that they are far more suited to the pulpit. Another area of discussion is men's health. Justin and Martin talk about the social awkwardness of the hernia test and tie it into their mutual love of podcasts. Oh, and Imagine Dragons rocks.
If you'd like to know the secret to a perfect Thanksgiving turkey the Two Bearded Preachers can clue you in... it's butter. Either that or Boston Market, it's a bit of a toss up. In this week's conversation, the fellers talk about their new electronics (an iPhone 7 and an Xbox One S), discuss what to do when a prepubescent joins your party, and talk about the importance of maxing and relaxing. Will Justin be able to survive the tamest attraction in Kissimmee? Will Martin be able to make it through the show without running to the bathroom? These and other mysteries are solved in the 60th episode of the greatest episodic history of the Two Bearded Preachers' friendship. This episode is #1. Don't doubt it for a minute.
It's Thanksgiving and the Two Bearded Preachers are taking a well deserved week off. We didn't want to leave you high and dry, so here is a re-release of our very first episode. It is too long, has terrible editing, and sounds like absolute garbage. We think you'll love it. It will also help you to see how far we've come in putting these things together. So check it out, but we won't be hurt if you decide to keep this one to yourselves. Enjoy.
How many VCRs should you take when looting an electronics store? Does hand holding lead to baby making? How many days in a row can a man eat steak before it isn't delicious? These and other questions are answered in the latest episode of Two Bearded Preachers! Listen to how Martin and Justin would respond in a protest/riot scenario and hear their traditional Molotov Cocktail recipes. This one is a real barn burner, but kindly remember not to literally burn down any barns. We wouldn't want anyone to be charged with a hate crime against the livestock.
This just in... the Two Bearded Preachers officially endorse Nathan Fillion for President of the United States of America. Who could be better than the man who tamed the outer planets? In other news, Aladdin is outed as a pervy creeper and Justin cheats on Martin by talking to another preacher. They are able to make amends though as John Morgan is finally able to get Florida to legalize medicinal marijuana. Keep an eye on Justin, he has been having joint problems lately. Oh, they also mention that feller who won the election. What was his name again?
In Georgia, the internet only comes with one speed: rotary. Justin and Martin discuss the human rights violations of slow upload speeds, having to log in at restaurants, and Starbuck's poor wifi. After that series of complaints they explore the exegesis of Christian latte sippers in the news, wondering why they even know about these clowns. They also talk about when it's appropriate to begin playing Christmas music, amateur beard month, and pedicures for men. This episode is jammed packed with Christmas tree shaped Reece's Peanutbutter Cups and joy. Be sure to share it, but only in person by writing our web address on a piece of napkin.
What could be more terrifying than a new Green Day album? Episode 56 of the Two Bearded Preachers! Justin and Martin discuss the implications of Ecclesiastes and how reading it is an awful lot like living in Seattle. Justin admits that he likes wonky preaching (something you already knew), but still goes off on Andy Stanley a few weeks after the whole issue has died down. The inevitability of death is also talked about at length which is certain to keep everyone glued to their earbuds. Listen all the way to the end for an O Brother Where Art Thou reference that's sure to please. As always, PODCAST GOLD!
Did you watch the third presidential debate and find yourself falling asleep? If so we don't blame you. Listening to Donald and Hillary talk about policy is not nearly as interesting as the news about the Nintendo Switch. Since Justin and Martin didn't hear about the new system before Wednesday, they decided to watch the Clinton/Trump debate together and make comments while it played. Surely you want to listen to the Two Bearded Preachers' take on all things political, right? Well, today is your lucky day.
Better call 500 because this episode is straight fire. Justin and Martin talk about how preaching might be influenced by Ted Talks, discuss why Martin hasn't watched Daredevil, and tell of Justin's terrible experience with hurricane Matthew. You hear wisdom like "don't wiz on the electric fence" and how to best level your Hammerdin in Diablo 2. Of course, you'll also learn why Kingpin is the biggest Dad Fail of all and the best way to deal with an electrical fire in your back yard. Don't forget to comment on the Facebook page if you want Martin to watch all the Marvel Netflix series. Enjoy.
The Two Bearded Preachers talk about the challenges of bad weather, the new fascination with clowns, and the perils of aging. Justin laments the fact he is getting older and rotting from the inside out. Martin thinks clowns in the woods are funny even though they're a nonindigenous species in the woods. Neither believe the clown fad is a lasting societal development. That's right folks, they talk about all the issues pressing on the American psyche. Be sure to listen, share, and repeat.
In this week's episode, Justin and Martin talk about the trainwreck of a debate that went down Monday evening. Seriously, America? Is this the best you can do? Maybe one of our kids can be president one day, but who would even want the job by that point?
In the second half of the show the Two Bearded Preachers talk about congregational take overs and wonder what the best course of action is in this age of churches eating each other. Church polity, ecclesiology, and methodology are all discussed in the most heart wrenching episode yet.
Did we forget to mention that this is our 52nd episode? That means this has been going on for an entire year. Take that, America!
Do you have a personal vision statement for your life? When Justin reads a devotion arguing Jesus' success is rooted in such a statement he and Martin lose their minds. This extends into a greater conversation about the viability of vision and mission statements within the church context as well as some Christological thought. In addition to this Martin shares a story about a newly coined curse word while Justin says Ecclesiastes is boring. The Two Bearded Preachers definitely misbehave in this week's episode. Be sure to share it on a hand written note lovingly given to your sweetheart.
The Two Bearded Preachers love Major Payne and don't apologize for it. Killing is my business, ladies, and business is good! After discussing the finer points of the best film of 1995, Justin and Martin take on books like Heaven is for Real and other heaven tourism stories. They spend a little time on the deep-rooted materialism of American culture and even talk about the role of drugs in today's Christian mysticism. This episode has it all including references to Footloose and a lovely recipe for crystal meth. Can you guess which of the duo identifies with John Lithgow? Find out right here in episode 50!
Why can't anyone take a joke anymore? Is there something so serious going on that we can't laugh a little at the congruency issues in someone's discography? This and other topics are discussed as Justin and Martin seek to solve every problem in life, ministry, and the world. Included in this episode is a crotch tracking video camera, a secret society of pastoral persons, and some of the greatest innovations the world has ever seen. By no means should you share it with your friends on account of all the secrecy. Shhhh...
Are Martin and Justin really so heartless that they wouldn't help a duck in trouble? How can one describe the social impact of the middle finger to an eight-year-old? Is there a reason why adults are so untrusting? These questions and others are answered in this week's episode of the Two Bearded Preachers. Be sure to share with your bird loving friends.
Have you ever had to give your child "the talk"? In this episode, Justin tells the tale of how he told his son about the birds and the bees with minimal embarrassment. Martin shares some of the things that are only learned during basic training. Both describe how they learned about one of God's greatest gifts to humanity as they try to explain the reasoning behind the preacher comb over. It's all here in this week's episode. Don't forget to share on social media.
In this episode, Justin and Martin answer some questions about violence, biblical masculinity, and Beverly Hills 90210. Hear Justin try and justify his unnecessarily aggressive perspective on life. Listen to Martin's case that Justin is, in fact, a violent psychopath bent on destruction. They also discuss the rationality behind Justin's preacher comb over as some listeners attempted a hairdo intervention. This is undoubtedly podcast gold.
It's time for the Olympics and the Two Bearded Preachers are barely aware of it. Listen as Justin and Martin try to sound like they know what they're talking about as they discuss the greatest sporting event outside of American Football and NASCAR. Before they get to that though they discuss how they deal with stress when their extended families are losing their minds. As if that weren't enough you'll also hear Justin tell a story about how he threw caution to the wind and let his congregation create his sermon illustration. Oh, and Justin wears a speedo.
In this episode, Justin and Martin talk about baptism practically and theologically as Justin shares about some of the strange experiences he has had as a youth minister. They also talk about a recent trip to Disney World where the ride operators are good, but only in the Magic Kingdom. The discussion then turns to the most wonderful time of the year: back to school. You'll hear about how Martin's town is voluntarily segregated, how little Justin walks during the week, and the perils of big government. It's been said before, but this episode really has it all.
Oh, and there are some jokes too.